Skip to main content

Another moving out (deep down i don't wanna leave)

I was driving my car under the blue sky, listening to my favorite song of The Script's, feeling so full after a bowl of warm chicken porridge and cold americano. Manado was bright that day, i couldn't ask for more.

A call passed by my phone, it was my boss calling.

 "You'll move to Lampung, you'll be handling the GT." He said. I was shocked. 

I couldn't barely express my feeling. I didn't know what to say, or what to feel. I got so many questions on my head. 

"Why do i need to move to smaller city?"

"Why smaller numbers of team and scope of work?"

"Why me?"

I knew right it was a part of company's productivity plan, where people are being cut off, where people are moving from one role to another, where people are shocked by surprises they never wished for. 

Here's my analysis of the pro and cons of moving to the new city:

(+) It's much closer to home. I even cut 2mio in my flight cost back home.

(+) Everything is cheaper. It's Sumatra, not the eastern of Indonesia.

(+) It'll be easier for me to travel abroad.

(-) The channel. Why GT? I was on a hybrid role yet why do i move to GT?

(-) Smaller scope of work. I don't think i can do much in this role, can i?

(-) I'm not ready to say goodbye to all of my friends, everyone I met in Sulawesi, and i probably won't meet them ever again.

It shocked me even more when my boss asked me to visit the new area as soon as possible. I left Makassar for 2 weeks due to VP visit in Manado, i left it the next week for Conference in Jakarta, and i have to leave it for the next 2 weeks for new area handover. I was sad, Makassar was my comfort place and i don't think i have anywhere else to go. I've built so many relation, good and happy life in here. I'm not sure I'll like my new place.

I eventually flew anyway. The moment i arrived in Palembang and Lampung, Southern Sum, I judged that it wasn't a nice place. I have no idea what's the nice thing of the city other than it's cheap cost of living. Well, the "cheap" component was never be my top of priority anyway. It was on the bottom. 

Im willing to spend much for a "good quality of life" that i knew i deserve. Makassar is one of it. The expensive meals, house rents, overpriced coffees, was never be my problem as long as i got a nice city to live in, surrounded by the old buildings to run and stroll around, big malls and pools, close to the beach and sea where i can dive and see the sunset as easy as grabbing the salt in my kitchen. 

Knowing that I have to move from Makassar to Lampung, where the "comfort standard" might be dropped far, i cried. I have no idea what to feel but i cried, loud. Not even a week in Lampung and i already missing Makassar, the place where i belong, the place where i feel safe, happy, full, the place i call home.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

18 days post the break up

25 Okt 2024, writing this on 18th days post our break up.  Aku gak tau akan tujukan ini ke siapa, tapi mungkin ke kamu, and let me just be honest here.  3-7 hari pertama adalah yang paling berat, i can not stop blaming myself for what happened. I look back, regret, sesekali aku berpikir bahwa keputusanku untuk udahin ini semua terlalu terburu-buru tanpa banyak pertimbangan. Sesekali aku menyesal, thinking i shouldve done better, i shouldve treated you better, i shouldve not hurt you and broke my promise in the first place. Aku bertanya, mencari alasan kenapa ini semua gak bisa diperbaiki. Kenapa kita sama-sama gak usahakan lagi? Luckily, everything answered the moment we met. Kamis malam, di Bandung, i cant do anything but freeze. The night was cold, the only thing that felt warm was your hug. I was too scared to sit right beside you. I was too scared to put my trust back on you. It feels like being with a stranger with so many familiarities. Like ive known you so long but at ...

Is it really a 'Serendipity'?

 17th Aug, 24. It's never too late to start writing back, no? I decided to open up this blog and start writing some thoughts,knowing that life has been a bit chaotic the past few months. Maybe if i could take a word to describe, i'll choose 'Serendipity'. Serendipity. noun. ser·​en·​dip·​i·​ty ˌser-ən-ˈdip-ət-ē :  the gift of finding valuable or agreeable things not looked for. Kalo gue tarik mundur the exact 6 bulan ke belakang, gue sadar i found so many new faces, places, & created memories yang gue ga pernah expect untuk ada dari dulu. People i thought never exist suddenly came up with each of their unique roles. Gue cukup banyak mengambil keputusan lucu yang impact ke hidup gue significantly sampai hari ini. And most of them--adalah sesuatu yang gue ga pernah benar-benar cari atau expect to happen . Like it was just, happened , accidentally. Six months ago, i declared myself that i loved someone, let's call him M, i loved him so much that I thought i wont le...

Hi, Riq

  To my dearest buddy--well now is my boyfriend, Naufal Ariq, i have no idea if someday you'll read this words or no. I probably wont show this to you and i am sorry for keeping this as a secret.  Deep down, im truly happy for your existence. Youre like a sun after my stormy days. You brought uncountable laughs, joys, and im totally grateful for having you around. As a bestfriend, and now a boyfriend, which---i still never expected this. When i heard that you love me too, i wouldnt believe it.  But for real it, please let me be kind and treat you well with no fears, no doubts, without being scared of watching you leave like others in my past.  Please let me love you slowly, unconditionally, without me needing to ask for anything in return because i believe you'll do things for me without i have to explain.  Please make things easy for us and i will do the same.  Please stay, please let me be your light in your darkest days, let me be your home when you're e...