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Showing posts from October, 2024

Is it really a 'Serendipity'?

 17th Aug, 24. It's never too late to start writing back, no? I decided to open up this blog and start writing some thoughts,knowing that life has been a bit chaotic the past few months. Maybe if i could take a word to describe, i'll choose 'Serendipity'. Serendipity. noun. ser·​en·​dip·​i·​ty ˌser-ən-ˈdip-ət-ē :  the gift of finding valuable or agreeable things not looked for. Kalo gue tarik mundur the exact 6 bulan ke belakang, gue sadar i found so many new faces, places, & created memories yang gue ga pernah expect untuk ada dari dulu. People i thought never exist suddenly came up with each of their unique roles. Gue cukup banyak mengambil keputusan lucu yang impact ke hidup gue significantly sampai hari ini. And most of them--adalah sesuatu yang gue ga pernah benar-benar cari atau expect to happen . Like it was just, happened , accidentally. Six months ago, i declared myself that i loved someone, let's call him M, i loved him so much that I thought i wont le...

18 days post the break up

25 Okt 2024, writing this on 18th days post our break up.  Aku gak tau akan tujukan ini ke siapa, tapi mungkin ke kamu, and let me just be honest here.  3-7 hari pertama adalah yang paling berat, i can not stop blaming myself for what happened. I look back, regret, sesekali aku berpikir bahwa keputusanku untuk udahin ini semua terlalu terburu-buru tanpa banyak pertimbangan. Sesekali aku menyesal, thinking i shouldve done better, i shouldve treated you better, i shouldve not hurt you and broke my promise in the first place. Aku bertanya, mencari alasan kenapa ini semua gak bisa diperbaiki. Kenapa kita sama-sama gak usahakan lagi? Luckily, everything answered the moment we met. Kamis malam, di Bandung, i cant do anything but freeze. The night was cold, the only thing that felt warm was your hug. I was too scared to sit right beside you. I was too scared to put my trust back on you. It feels like being with a stranger with so many familiarities. Like ive known you so long but at ...